Just had a bad hair day. Usually the hair-styles I try none of them suit me. But today’s cut was exceptionally bad according to some. Maybe it was. Everyone’s gaze was making me feel sorta uneasy and I was trying to hide. The reaction was strange to my senses. The world visible to me was absolutely same as any other day. But just a bad hair day made so many repercussions around me. Why? To my eyes the same people were behaving different all of a sudden. I knew logically but I could not comprehend it with my heart. Just absence of a few tufts of hair can change people’s reactions so much. Few even said I was looking good trying to cheer me up. But I was still confused, not logically but emotionally. I had not done anything to them, but everyone’s reactions are different. To my mind the reason was well understood but my eyes and ears could not put the pieces together. It is difficult.. I had a feeling it must be what it is like when you are a mad guy. Then you have no idea why everyone is behaving oddly about you but you scan sense the oddity. Today it was #judgementDay.
Today was a #judgementDay not because I was at the court. But I had a first hand experience of what it is like to be judged by all around you. Of course this isn’t the first, I have had worse before, but this was one of a kind.The feeling of being there, at the center of the gossip universe, you and I both know it is one of a kind feeling.
Judging, it is so ingrained in us that we feel empty if we aren’t judged by others. Our dresses and styles don’t feel complete unless complimented by others. Beauty isn’t beautiful enough unless it is looked at with jealousy… We give what we receive and we receive that we give. #settlement_balance_Zero Need I say more?
I know, you know what I am talking about. Let’s be and let others be. Let’s take off those judgy glasses, peep into the souls of all around us through their eyes. Instead of keeping them at bay let’s put Judgement away. If nothing else it will make our hard lives a bit easier. A bit easier it would be when we have room to breathe instead of judgy noses breathing on our shoulders. Higher shall we rise! Straight we shall stand, happily shall we live and peacefully shall we pass away. We wont ‘rest in peace!’, mind you. No we won’t! If you don’t have peace while you are living, being dead won’t make any difference to you. Why? Coz u were already dead man! Instead, lets have acceptance as much as u can spare. Then we all shall live in happiness and peace!
Days and months add layers on layers. Bit by bit I change. Changed I get by bits and pieces, and at the end of a year I look back at myself. I ask “Who is that guy?!”. My older posts serve my purpose of time travel. I go through those to take a peek at my past self. Looking closely I notice the style of writing, choice of words, speed n train of thoughts, topic changes and what it was about. Each one of those tales tell a tale of a younger me and then whatever I be.
Just went through ‘a letter to my younger self‘ . I wrote this back in 2013, the year when I wasn’t employed anywhere. All my friends were working somewhere and there I was, frustrated and jobless. Everyone in my family was trying to cheer me up but I couldn’t be. That self of me in 2013 wrote a letter to another me who belonged to the year 2009. The addressee guy was just in his 2nd year of engineering (halfway though college). Right now, I am observing a guy talking to another guy who exists 3 years back in time than him. All the three guys are the same person but just separated over time! Amazing isnt it? Feels like Looper! But that’s not the point of this post. It is about how different I have become over the years.. How many changes have happened.. How have I been moulded by some seemingly life-shattering events (which of course become just some old tales with time).. Unexplainable. Just unexplainable. Maybe it is but I choose not to. Some feelings are better felt than expressed.. It is deep.
I work in the cards and payments industry. My job is to develop and monitor programs and Jobs (Yeah, Jobs! I work with those scary mainframes). After the transaction settlement of all the merchants my programs create their statements and funding notifications. Usually someone gets total credit greater than the debit and for others vice versa. For some both credits and debits balance out and they get naught! Not a single penny! Such cases sometimes throws spanner into the clockworks, and we have to fix it. (In mainframe parlance, those horrific things are called Job Abends)
Usually a job abend means billions of valued transactions held up until we fix it and time is invariably against us at such times. Late to fix it by a moment and we can hear abuses from halfway across the world! So please, next time your bank transaction is held up, don’t slang us. Just remember, we are on fire even before you microwave us with your anger. Yesterday, we had such a job abend day.
It was a merchant who had nothing but two transactions, one for $ +1.07 and another for $ -1.07. So he didn’t get anything funded into his account, but he has to pay the fees for the settlement processing.. Sorry, I wont bore you with that. What happened is that we luckily found this merchant’s records quickly in the files, removed him and let the jobs go. Everything went smooth from there on. Something hit me then. A thought.. It goes on as follows.
This guy sells some things to customers. For whatever he sells he pays 2% of that transaction to his card company. A fraction of that is paid by the card company to my employer. With that money my employer gives me salary. With the salary I then go back to pay the merchant for stuff I buy. From that the merchant again pays 2% of the value and it goes on and on in a circle.. Now do one thing. Just put all the pieces of transactions together and settle it. Calculate, who stands to gain, huh?
The transaction settlement value is Zero! A big Zero! No one is getting anything extra! No one at all! It just sent my head spinning. What the hell are we working for and why ?!
Everyone is actually losing their precious seconds, minutes, hours and days just to keep this circle running, aren’t they? Or is this what they call ‘the circle of life‘?
India today has more mobile phones than people, a proven fact. But where these communication devices come from, huh?
Starting from the cheapest Samsung guru series(my dad uses it) to the most expensive iPhone all of those phones come from China. Not just mobiles, but the whole spectrum of networking devices (routers, switches, computers etc) used here comes from China. The whole communication network of India relies on Chinese imports. So if you take out the Chinese maal out of India, you are leaving India without its communication network. Work would come to a standstill, as all the laptops would also be taken away. Just imagine life without your precious phone and net. Can you? Ironically, I am writing about #BoycottChinese on a China-assembled laptop. Is it just me? Nah!
All of India (at home and abroad) is earning, working, writing, communicating, talking and expressing themselves and ranting #BoycottChinese through Chinese products only!
Has anyone thought about that? We can’t escape using Chinese products no matter how hard we try. Directly or indirectly our fragile lives are supported by Chinese imports. No matter what you do, you simply can’t take China out of India by #BoycottChinese..
Instead of ranting #BoycottChinese, #makeinIndia drive makes more sense to me. That is the only way to cut off China, so I feel.
I feel every important thing in life deserves a day of celebration. Love being the most important one, so we have Valentines day .Square and fair, you have a day to celebrate your love. No issues with that. But how many of us know what is Love?
I know I have asked the very obvious question and there happens to be so many poetic answers ready like “Love is life” “Love is a game” and so on. So let me rephrase the question..
What does love feel like? What is it actually to you? Take a pause and think. Leaving the exception of people who actually feel each and every syllable of I Love you while saying it, to the others it is merely a half-hearted symbol. A symbol to appease or sometimes give a sense of security or else feed their ego of having a partner. You know well what i am talking about so I wont explain any further. People fall in love.. is love a trap? Literally they have a great fall. They fall for looks first, character usually comes last in the list.. and and and I forgot the most important thing. Sensuality, without which nowadays young couples don’t even feel like they are in love and break up! Look around in TV ads and all, best example is that of the CloseUp. #makeyourfirstmove! what the hell? Is love all about touching and getting a feel of the body of the opposite sex? Don’t take me for a celebate. I like sex as much as you do maybe more, but I believe it comes afterwards. When two people love each other for what they actually are, feel that much comfortable in each others company then sensuality adds to the experience. Otherwise sensuality is like any other drug, feels great and later leaves you feeling empty. And lastly, you don’t bicker if you are in love with each other.
Love is a beautiful thing! When found you don’t demand anything in return. Not even an ‘I love you’. You become flexible enough to accommodate all faults or shortcomings if any at all. Loving and giving away all makes you feel complete. Sounds fairy-tale-ish? But it is Real-ish. Lucky are those who find such love, and I am one of them 🙂
Spread love 🙂 and have a happy valentines day!
To the people who think Menstruating women are not pure enough to enter temple of God, to them I ask; If you believe it is your sworn duty to protect the holy ground from the shadows of such beings then why stop at the temple gates? Why not go ahead and wipe out the entire female race from the whole universe? After all the whole universe belongs to GOD and such an impurity cannot be allowed to linger around, right? Please go ahead, wipe them out from the face of the earth at least. Then God will shower you with blessings as you watch the human race go extinct.
Finally when human race goes extinct, mother Earth will thank you for sure!
Shame on you people! What is wrong with your head?
Between the two of us, Woman is blessed with the divine power of creating life. Her menstruation is the purest sign of the capability to create another life! She is the one who used her power to create you and she created you with her body. If you really believe in the divine and worship god as your creator? Then what is holier and pious than worshipping the power within her?! If you believe in logic (other than believing that a lifeless stone is holier than a fertile woman) then do think upon what you just read. I believe you will see through your cloud of misunderstanding..
As you might know, I have been working as a software professional since May, last year. Life has been different. Like my sister Namrata put it in one of her posts, I too have felt the same thing. Only that unlike her, I never had the courage to shriek or show my emotions in front of all. But I never have time nowadays. It is hugely taxing to stay at office 12 hours through all week. Till May this year, I was working as developer. Now I am a tester. Nothing has changed much except for that now my weekends are more likely to be free. Weekdays are same as before…
I often gain my insights from the unlikeliest of places, and so it happened again. Being developer and being tester has put me on two totally different sides of life, two opposing perspectives, two sides of the same coin. I will put in my thoughts during these two periods.
As developer: I hate testers. What do they do other than dig up the software for isses and make deuvelopers life hell? We put in long hours creating something. But none of that matters to them, they are always looking for the spot on the face of the moon. They can’t leave us for a moment in peace, not even for meal breaks. All they know is find a defect and escalate and so on.
As tester: What do these developers do? Why can’t they take care of such simple things? At least they have guidelines on what to do. We have to sift through data generated from codes and search for defects. If any one defect leaks into production our jobs will be on the line next. They say we have tools, but these tools have their own defects too, which we have to manage while testing and so on..
Pause for a while. Try to feel the difference of perspectives.
We human beings have this habit of blaming everything on something else. It is easier as we don’t have to work on our own mistakes and our own faults. Then we don’t have to swallow the terrible truth that our own situation is nothing but sum of our own doings. I will explain with an example. Do we care how we get something when we want something? We just pay for it and expect to get it in full. We walk into a restaurant, get angry and complain if our order isn’t served within our expected time. Do we care to know why is it late? Never. So if we have practiced this for all of our lives, does it not make sense when we are paid back in the same coin?
Truly said, we reap what we sow. We just don’t want to know..
Let’s start with the update. I am still alive (and quite kicking 😛 ) in this horrible IT industry and it is almost a year since I got my job. Ohhhyeaaah!!! May 12th comes up and I will have completed a full year of service with Cognizant. How about that?! Facebook and whatever online stuff I used to do has almost gone extinct from my life. Just today morning a strong thought and a feeling came up and I remembered that I have a blog that is asking for a post 🙂 So, here goes..
I have never been much of a fan of TV or the mass media. Now kinda hate these. I feel like I am being fed with pre-prepared and pre-digested food. I don’t have a choice over what is right and who is right. Everything is meticulously processed, packaged and projected in such a way so as to make me believe whatever I am seeing or hearing from them is the absolute truth. Few examples from movies.
- Each and every superhero movie has to have a girl who looks beautiful and always falls for the hero.
- The hero always gets to win and get the girl in the end (as if the girl is an object).
- Audience’s response to severity of violence has to be measured by who is being hurt, no sympathy at all if it is the anti-lead and eyes full of tears if it is the lead character.
- If it is the lead role then his/her getting shot in the leg is more painful and emotion squeezing than the dozens of sidekicks who get killed.
- Audience always has to idolize the lead character no matter if he is preaching good or bad.
Now for some stuff they call the Reality shows, I call them manipulated-reality shows. More than the actual competition the cameras are focused on the emotional exchanges, the crying, the laughing, the quarrels, the swearing and so on, accompanied with matching background music. I know, people like these stuff, and that is the only reason that these sell.
Now for the news. News is selected and projected in a way which is known to excite our emotions.
- Biggest example; We hate anyone intruding on our privacy, but keep eyes glued to the screen whenever there is any gossip of any scandal or so..
- Images of people in pain and distress are beamed live for others to consume instead of leaving them alone or helping them.
- News time slots are decided depending upon the probable public reaction to it rather than importance of the event itself.
Same goes for advertisement industry. Each and every ad is meticulously designed to make you spend more and more for the stuff you don’t need at all. Examples
- You don’t love your love if you don’t gift your love a teddy of chocolates or some other stuff which is supposed to be a lovely gesture.
- You don’t have a status in society if you don’t wear Armani or Gucci and so on and you don’t drive an Audi.
- You have be fair and lovely/handsome to be confident. Definition of handsome is also laid down by advertisers.
- Now my personal favorite, If you don’t have an iPhone well, you don’t have an iPhone. What the heck is an iPhone? Does it help you sleep well at night?
Are we losing our independence of thoughts/opinion to others, willingly?
Think upon it..
I don’t remember when it was that I read this piece of information, rather article I should say. I don’t remember the title. Well, I don’t remember a lot of stuff like what I had for lunch today or where have I kept my purse and whatever. All I remember is a memory, a sort of insight, a new angle of view I found in one of the paragraphs. It might seem like I took this next sentence right out of the movie Inception, but actually the concept is like a dream. I don’t know where it began, I don’t know how to end it. So I never talked about it to anybody. On a second thought, nowadays I don’t even get time to talk about real happenings; leave alone the abstract.
Today I was watching Transcendence (I am a big fan of Hollywood movies especially sci-fi and animations). One of the key points of the movie is self-awareness and the nature of our consciousness. This concept of being self-aware, it sent ripples in the dark lake of my memories and out came these thoughts. Let’s try to put my thoughts in writing.
As persons, we are aware of ourselves. We sense each of ourselves as different from each other, independent self-driven physical and emotional entities. We are totally aware of our own boundaries. Unless we are stimulated within that boundary of our body or mind, we can’t sense neither we respond. So we can decide that each one of us is independently conscious. Now comes the interesting part. Did we happen to pop up like this all of a sudden?
Nope. We all had out origins as single cell called the zygote. That single cell in a mother’s body grows into a whole organism, well within the physical boundary of her body. Within the mother’s womb it had no separate existence, the mother and the baby are one. It has no self-awareness. Suddenly at birth the baby becomes a lone independent functioning entity, which can sustain itself. With growth of senses it learns to be self-aware, learns to feel that it is not a part of the mother’s body it has its own independent existence. I don’t know how you guys see this but to me this is pretty much amazing, like awesome! So going by this logic, our self-awareness, our independent existence, our different features, beliefs and pretty much everything that we sense as our consciousness go back in time to be one single entity of consciousness. We might be separate but we all are one. So we might actually call ourselves universal brothers and sisters, right? So what use is violence against our own selves, huh? I like to think this way. Put in your thoughts please.
p.s. – If you find the source article from which this came, please gimme the link. I would love to read it once again 🙂
So, it has been a month since I became an associate of Cognizant. Some are curious to know how it has been so far, some aren’t. Doesn’t matter, I am gonna say it anyway 😛 .
The learning curve has been as steep as always. But my experience of the last 2 years has come handy. There are several things that I learned, important lessons they are. Sharing three of them with you here. You might ask why three? I don’t know.. maybe today is 3’s lucky day 😀
1. Bad habits don’t make people bad.
People themselves do. I have seen that up close, very very close.. Nothing more on this point.
2. No matter what is happening, this too shall pass.
Being an employee is a hell lot different from being a student, and old habits die hard. So, you can imagine well that many a time my new colleagues have been in trouble (I had lucky escapes so far). I have seen them break down helplessly trying to answer for something wrong they might have done. Seeing them I sometimes became emotional and unstable, but this phrase kept me going. This is something I imbibed in my character during my job-hunting phase.
The last but not the least! This is a sort of strategy. Something I have been using since some time but didn’t have a set of perfect words to phrase it. My good friend Saurabh gave this awesome phrase!
3. Never say why me, say try me.
I am worst at performing arts and we have behavioral sessions twice a week where we have to perform very basic roles and enact situations. The first few sessions were a torture, I used to groan and look at my watch for the end of the session. Being there in front of everybody was like “OMG, what are they thinking I don’t know” etc etc. One fine morning I just felt like “what the hell? I am scared of a few people?!…” . Since then those sessions have been different. I wont say I perform well, but I enjoy them to the full all the while improving myself.
I love dogs, street dogs more than the ones which live with people. Maybe coz they demand less or maybe becoz they are more deprived.. I don’t know. Wherever I go, on seeing any dog or cat r so, I have this habit of making a special tut-tut sound to call them and it usually ends with patting their heads. The place where I come from, dogs are usually very friendly. U just look at them and they will come up wagging their tails and ears backwards. So you can understand my surprise on my first day here, when I saw a dog actually afraid of me and barking at me from a distance. I was like “OMG! This has never happened before, what did I do?”. I waited for a while, it tucked its tail between its legs and fled. I was left wondering what the hell went wrong. I could not believe it. While returning from my office, the same thing happened twice again. The third time, a dog sensing my intention came nearer. After a while when it let me pat its face, it was like heaven for him or so I believe. It was wagging its tail vigorously like it had seen its long lost friend. Slowly the other dogs came nearer, they gave the same reaction. Then I lifted my gaze from the dogs to the people around. There is a guy standing in the middle of a street with and army of street dogs.. Back in my place it would have drawn attention of at least one for sure. Here no one even looked at me. As if I and my army weren’t there at all. Realization dawned on me.. these dogs have never ever felt affection from a human before. To them a human being looking at them is a totally unknown thing, so was a sign of alarm. So are people around here. Back in my home town, we are used to a little nose poking from neighbours. Sometimes we enjoy it. Here neighbours are total strangers to each other, leave alone street dogs, cats and birds. People run and rush all day and night. Here enjoyment doesn’t mean an evening spent with friends on a few cups of coffee. Instead it means having an expensive dinner with a very few, or maybe alone. You won’t see anyone taking a leisurely stroll, instead looking very busy all the time. Expressionless faces, but hands busy rapidly typing emotions into whatsapp, facebook etc. No one just cares about anything at all. Sometimes not even themselves. I am not blaming people, we are all modulated by situations around. It is just a study in contrast. It is a mixture of my emotions, feelings and apprehensions. I don’t wanna be like them. I don’t want to lose my senses like them and be a dumb working machine. I wanna live actively with a an active presence in all the lives I touch. I wanna be remembered by all I come in contact with no matter if it is a dog or a cat or a human.. I might be no great one, but I should not pass away unnoticed. May god give me strength for that. Amen.
P.S. a little heads up for those who dont know, I have finally got a job. Now I am in Kolkata, working in Cognizant. Life is a lot, lot and lot different here. I will do a post on that soon. Till then, take care and thanx for reading this one 🙂
(In my mind, I often try to put myself in someone else’s shoes, and try to see through their eyes and think with their minds. I think it helps me understand people and situations better. Here is a gist of one of my observations..)
A girl, grows up in the care of her parents. For at least 18-20 years she grows a sense of belonging to her parents and her birth family . All of a sudden marriage comes along and severs that sense of belonging, she belongs to a new family now. It is expected to be quick as changing the reference of an object variable in java, you just change the reference girl.family= new Family(); and done. The girl is supposed to manage that transition all by herself. She has insecurities, fears, anxieties etc. Which is obvious coz parents-in-law aren’t birth parents that they would accept you for whatever you are. She is the intern now. Sometimes she fights back to retain herself in the new environs, sometimes she yields to the pressure. To be plucked from a fenced garden into a new place where there is no one to love u unconditionally, moreover being expected to follow thousand of rules, that too taken for granted. Damn bad it is. Lucky are those whose in-laws are as good as their parents back at home. Slowly she adjusts to the cogs and wheels of the new family. She learns to call the new family her own family. From being an outsider who was supposed to keep quiet and ignored at talks, she gets woven into the fabric of the family. She is the boss now. She has authority and command, she is the home-maker now. She has a few kids with her husband, maybe boys, maybe girls. She loves her kids more than herself. If the kid is a boy she has expects a nice daughter-in-law some day, and when her boy brings a wife home,she bosses over her. The boss now bosses over the intern brought in by her son. I don’t know if she remembers any of her internship years. But if the kid is a girl, she steadies herself to give her away to someone else, someday. Like any other caring mother, she too expects her girl to get the best in-laws ever.
What intrigues me is that how someone can grow up belonging somewhere, then get replanted somewhere else and become a part of the new place like having been there since ages.. Hindus and others who know the Mahabharat epic, say Lord Krishna endured a lot of pain and hurt when he had to leave all his belongings in Gokul and go to Mathura to meet his birth parents. In my opinion that is repeated each day with every girl, but no one cares none remembers…
PS. Correct me if I am wrong at any point
(a guest post by my college friend Sudipta Maji (méjo) summing up his experiences of this year, definitely worth a read! Usually someone who has been through so much in a little time is usually expected to be changed from head to toe, but not this guy. He has literally filtered all the good stuff from all the situations he has been through and yet has retained himself as the Méjo we always knew. He is a real gem of a guy, one in millions! I am proud to have him as my friend. Here goes…)
WHAT I GOT:
1. I got someone as my Friend, Philosopher and Guide. Thank you Susanta Da.
2. I got some friends I will never forget. Thank you Prashant, Sandhya, Somya, Nandu.
3. I got someone as my Idol. Respect to Sri Guru Sir.
4. I got the respect as SIR from around 400 students.
WHAT I MISSED:
1. 14/01/2013 – I missed Makar Sankranti at Suruliar Ghat.
2. 27/01/2013 – I missed Ramharipur RKM Utsav.
3. 10/02/2013 – I missed GATE Exam.
4. 15/02/2013 – I missed Saraswati Puja.
5. 27/03/2013 – I missed Beliatore Mela.
6. 31/03/2013 – I missed WB Primary TET Exam.
7. 15/04/2013 – I missed ‘Mayer Hater Machh-Bhat’ in Subho Nababarsha.
8. 20/05/2013 – I missed Nutangram Mela(24 Prahar).
9. 23/05/2013 – I missed Nirisha Shiver Gajon.
10. 12/07/2013 – I missed Beliatore Gajon.
11. 17/09/2013 – I missed Viswakarma Puja and Mansa Puja.
12. 11/10/2013 – I missed Durga Puja.
13. 18/10/2013 – I missed Laxmi Puja.
14. 25/12/2013 – I missed Picnic.
15. I am missing my favourite serial CID since 1 year.
WHAT HAVE I DONE:
1. 02/01/2013 – I have started my journey to Bangalore in search of a new life.
2. 18/01/2013 – I have started my course in VECTOR INSTITUTE.
3. 26/03/2013 – I have played HOLI in a different place with different persons after a few years.
4. 04/05/2013 – The worst deed in my life I have done.
5. 05/05/2013 – I got hurt most in my life.
6. 10/06/2013 – I got hurt for second time and I realized that he has no fear of losing anything who has nothing.
7. 25/07/2013 – I have completed my course in VECTOR INSTITUTE.
8. 10/08/2013 – I have started my work in VECTOR INSTITUTE.
9. 26/10/2013 – I have experienced 60 hours train journey (26.10.2013 6 AM to 28.10.2013 6 PM).
10. 02/11/2013 – I have completed 5,000 hours Internet Browsing through my phone since 2010.
WHAT I LEARNT:
1. I have learnt to speak English and Hindi fluently after coming here.
2. I have learnt to speak with each and every person whoever he/she is.
3. I have learnt to speak with girls without any hesitation.
4. I have learnt to take a bath in early morning.
5. I have learnt to take challenge in my own interest.
6. I realized that a girl may be a friend without being a girlfriend.
7. I realized that sometimes telling a lie is more important than a truth.
8. I realized why people forget to eat, drink and sleep for someone.
9. I realized that feelings can’t be explained in words, it can only be felt.
10. I realized that my feelings change from person to person with time.
11. I realized that the happiness present in a true statement is not present in a lie.
12. I understood that Sunday is also a working day for us (LC).
13. I have made Sambar, Rasam, Idly, Dosa as my life partner.
14. I have made my habit to spend more than 12 hours in a day in front of computer.
15. I have made my habit to appear in exams any time even without preparations.
1. Till now I am unplaced, don’t know will I get a job or not.
2. Till now I am single and waiting for someone special.
I hereby declare that the above mentioned informations are correct as per my knowledge. And I also declare that this post is nothing but my realizations and I don’t want to hurt anyone by my post. If I have hurt anyone knowingly or unknowingly I am sorry for that from the core of my heart.
Thanks & Regards,
P.S. This guy’s date memory is another marvel! By dates I mean calendar dates 😉 . He remembers each and every date alongwith time to the last second for each event! Let it be our birthdays, or exams or just any petty argument or any party whatever! He remembers each one like a computer or maybe a diary.
Just yesterday I was watching a TV ad for an year ending function on some channel. It was Sunny Leone dancing on a stage in the center of a fountain, drenched wet to the bone, and there was a huge audience gaping at her. I was aghast! what the hell is this?
In this so-called civilized society of ours, a prostitute is always looked down upon with the most venomous cocktail of the worst possible emotions. Only because she sells her body to different persons.. On the other hand the same so-called civilized society is not at all shocked or disturbed in any way, rather eager to buy tickets to public shows of Sunny Leone the porn-star! Why?
Why should a porn-star get so much publicity and such a huge celebrity status when she is also selling her body for money? What the hell is wrong with sex workers? Is it because Leone is rich, whatever she is does is alright?! I am not against anybody who sell their bodies. I wanna know the reason behind this double standard, please explain! You have no rights to look down upon them, unless your own moral compass points true North.
P.S. and please, don’t take me as a saintly type fella. I’m just an average guy
whenever I visit my own posts.
Sometimes when I am really damn bored (pretty much unusual 😉 ) have nothing else to do, I tend to look back at my life. That usually involves racking my brains, but an easier way is to look at my own blog posts. Coz I can’t write any sort imaginary stuff, all of my posts invariably reflect the status of my mind at that particular point of time. Freeze framed! 😀
I have no guest post on my blog, but reading each post gives me the impression that it was written by someone else. I don’t know why. Some posts seem lame (like this one 😛 ), some really solid! In my initial posts my english didn’t flow as free as now. My way of presentation seems different after every few consequtive posts. In some posts I have done so deep introspection or analysis that now it seems like a long lost treasure island to which I can’t remember the way back. Apparently it seems impossible that I was able to think that deep 😮 ! Certain emotions which can still be felt in those old posts are now long lost on me, some replaced by new ones and so on..
Little nostalgic about my older selves, little amazed at the newer “me”s.. I can’t resist asking you to visit some of my older posts and leave your feedback 🙂
p.s. I am not blog-visit-hungry u know 😉