It is said that People love to take part in your happiness, but are indifferent when you are in distress. However there are some who aren’t indifferent to others in distress, even though they seem to be so.. I am one of them.

This morning I was going through the new posts on my favorite blogs, when came across a nice post by Just Another Wakeup Call, click here.  Overcome with emotions I could not comment on the post. This reminded me of a sticky situation which crops up every now and then. I need your advice on this, so here goes.

I am fortunate enough to be comforted by my friends and close ones whenever in distress. I am grateful and hugely indebted to them. Yet when it is my turn, I am not of much help. Some of my friends  have often confided in me in their bad times. Since I am known as a patient listener, they expect I can be of some help; at least comfort them with words. They do deserve that. But all I can do is to nod my head. Their pain affects me so much; I myself hang on the verge of breaking down, and to prevent that I put up an blank face  trying to cover up my own mental turmoil. I feel for them deeply, but I can’t convey that. This pent up emotion is another trouble and cause of stress.. So, anybody and everybody who has ever felt that I have been indifferent to your sorrows please forgive me. This is an inherent weakness and I can’t help it.

Anybody and everybody whoever has got any advice for this poor soul, you are most welcome..

11 thoughts on “a random confession..

  1. in sharing pain and in seeking solutions to problems, one of the most important things is to have someone you can share with who will listen with empathy. being able to verbalize and ventilate is a major portion of healing and problem solving or conflict resolution. by your being present to the person who is sharing the emotion, you are performing an invaluable service. moreover, words or solutions are often inadequate and almost always subjective. by putting the pain or the problem in words, the person is able to put the situation in perspective and that itself is a big step forward. i have struggled with this same issue as a professional and as a person, and today i see that we are all just small contributors to the huge scheme of things. being able to lend a sympathetic ear is often all that is needed. the universe does the rest. keep writing.

    1. Thanx a lot! Listening patiently is my nature so that isn’t a problem. What troubles me most is the other person’s perspective.. I cant help but worry how he/she might be interpreting my silence..

  2. I can’t tell you what’s right and what’s wrong, but this is something that has helped me in these situations.
    Whenever your friends speak their minds off, you should probably do the same. They come to you for your opinion because they value it. And even if you don’t know what to say, say that. Tell them that you have o clue as to what to say and that you feel for them.
    Or if the problem they bring forward is solvable or can be minimized by you, then by all means, do it!

    Don’t worry. This is the caffeine in me talking. It’ll wear off soon. 😉

  3. Somesh, Perhaps it would help if you told your closest friends and those who do confide in you this conundrum you have when there’s no anxiety. To let them know when they don’t have a drama that you are glad that they’re close and feel comfortable confiding in you, but that you simply freeze up may make them understand and may also relieve your own angst when you can’t respond but have your glacial mask on.

    Sorry I’ve been gone so long, too much has been going on in Paris.

  4. Not saying anything is o.k… In life we don’t have solutions to many problems and all that one can do is to be there at times of pain… No advice can work miracles and solve problems in a jiffy… Things will be fine as time goes on… What you go through while being there for friends in their moments of pain is normal… Don’t worry too much…

a penny for your thoughts..

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