These last 4 years left some permanent marks on me. Some emotional burns, cuts, bruises, and wounds left their permanent scars, which have shaped me into my present self. The most prominent one which actually made me write this post is that, I am a lot cooler than I used to be. I don’t mean handsome kind of cool, but cooler by state of mind. I shall explain with an example. Read on..
Just take the situation yesterday. I and Avinandan had gone to Kolkata for an informal job interview (we had a reference). By the time we were done with the interview and lunch, it was quite late. We were gonna miss the last buses back home. We hurried to Karunamayee. Bad luck, we didn’t get a ticket for the last bus which was leaving right then. Given the time available we couldn’t have opted for the train. So, we thought of going to Esplanade, hoping to get a ticket on another bus to Durgapur. We had no idea if we had already missed the last bus but we were hoping to be there in time. Owing to traffic jam on the way, our bus took around 1 hour for a route of 30 minutes. Luckily, we were there in time. Buying the tickets, we took our places on the bus, informed the ones concerned and everybody heaved a sigh of relief.. Avinandan asked me if I was tensed about missing the last bus and being stranded in Kolkata for a whole night. I said “Nope, I am much cooler now, thanks to you and my college mates…”.It made me reflect on what would have happened if my 18 year self had been through this.
First of all, hearing he had already missed the last bus at Karunamayee, he would have been half blinded by fear. He would have felt hugely nauseated and a migraine would have set in for sure. Each and every second on the bus to Esplanade would have been a huge torture for him. He might have cried out or fainted in the heat of summer. In the mean time he might have lost his mobile phone, bumped into a dozen people already destroying his specs and so on.. Cumulative anger and frustration would have made him half dead by the time he would have reached Esplanade.
Amongst all the different character traits that I have gained through my 4 years of college, this one is the most prominent. Knowing, believing and feeling are 3 different things.. There was a time when everybody used to say to me “don’t panic, everything will be alright”. Slowly I began to believe, but I never got the hang of “everything will be alright”, because I never saw beyond my immediate neighborhood. College life forced me to take a broader perspective and that changed me for good! Now I feel “whatever happens is always the best that can happen, my duty is just to hang on tight and enjoy the ride”. Whatever situation I might face, ultimately I am going to be alive, which implies either I will be successful or I will be defeated and embarrassed. In case none of these happen, it will be much simpler! I would be dead and be spared the trouble of facing others with the embarrassed look!
Thank you my friends! Thanx a lot..