(In my mind, I often try to put myself in someone else’s  shoes, and try to see through their eyes and think with their minds. I think it helps me understand people and situations better. Here is a gist of one of my observations..)

A girl, grows up in the care of her parents. For at least 18-20 years she grows a sense of belonging to her parents and her birth family . All of a sudden marriage comes along and severs that sense of belonging, she belongs to a new family now. It is expected to be quick as changing the reference of an object variable in java, you just change the reference girl.family= new Family(); and done. The girl is supposed to manage that transition all by herself. She has insecurities, fears, anxieties etc. Which is obvious coz parents-in-law aren’t birth parents that they would accept you for whatever you are. She is the intern now. Sometimes she fights back to retain herself in the new environs, sometimes she yields to the pressure. To be plucked from a fenced garden into a new place where there is no one to love u unconditionally, moreover being expected to follow thousand of rules, that too taken for granted. Damn bad it is. Lucky are those whose in-laws are as good as their parents back at home.   Slowly she adjusts to the cogs and wheels of the new family. She learns to call the new family her own family. From being an outsider who was supposed to keep quiet and ignored at talks, she gets woven into the fabric of the family. She is the boss now. She has authority and command, she is the home-maker now. She has a few kids with her husband, maybe boys, maybe girls. She loves her kids more than herself. If the kid is a boy she has expects a nice daughter-in-law some day, and when her boy brings a wife home,she bosses over her. The boss now bosses over the intern brought in by her son. I don’t know if she remembers any of her internship years. But if the kid is a girl, she steadies herself to give her away to someone  else, someday. Like any other caring mother, she too expects her girl to get the best in-laws ever.

What intrigues me is that how someone can grow up belonging somewhere, then get replanted somewhere else and become a part of the new place like having been there since ages.. Hindus and others who know the Mahabharat epic, say Lord Krishna endured a lot of pain and hurt when he had to leave all his belongings in Gokul and go to Mathura to meet his birth parents. In my opinion that is repeated each day with every girl, but no one cares none remembers…


PS. Correct me if I am wrong at any point

6 thoughts on “How do they do that?

    1. Yeah that’s right, but not both together. They have to give up one and grow into another. We guys may not know their feeling, but we do know that it hurts to give up. 🙂 nyway, dhonyobaads! 😀

  1. Life’s so unfair for girls especially in India. Why should I leave my house to marry? Tooooo bad. Btw, you found time out of your busy schedule to write this! It’s appreciated. 🙂

    1. Thanku! 🙂 It is truly said that things won’t happen when u want them to, it happens only when it is destined to.. This post was something like that, it happened. 🙂 I have been thinking over this since I don’t know when, and today I was like this has to go into my blog. Sab uparwale ki marzi. U know, the more I am reading this post the more I have a feeling like “Baapre! ye maine likha hai?!” 😛

a penny for your thoughts..

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