Possibly the most important lesson of my life ever..

Just finished downloading and watching the movie The Truman show starring one of my favourite actors Jim Carrey.. Those who know me personally might be a bit surprised to know that I took the time to download and watch something which is not at all an animated one. Even I myself don’t know what got into me. Maybe God had decided to teach me the most important lesson of my life.. I recommend you watch it too if you haven’t already.

Throughout the movie I felt pity for the Truman Burbank character. I had to keep reminding myself that it was just a story born from a fertile imagination; otherwise I could not have watched it till the end. Also usually I am able to relate myself to most the characters portrayed by Jim Carrey (to some extent at least). This one was different. I didn’t find any such relation, just watched it passively. The movie finished, 10 min afterwards it hit me!!

This whole movie was an absolute parallel to my life! I was living a real-life Truman show. According to the story Truman was bound in the world created for him since birth. As a result, it was his comfort zone and he never thought to break out of the artificial world, so he never knew anything about what was beyond what he knew. He never got the whiff that he was being monstrously deceived. He was always limited by his fears of the sea and air travel. Parallel to that, I live inside a world of my own fears, which have made my life limited to the same old routine like Truman’s. But eventually Truman starts realising the truth of deception and starts seeing through the masks. Finally he musters courage to overcome his child-hood fear of water, braves the artificial storm across the artificial sea and escapes from the artificial island of Seahaven.

So I realised that my comfort zone is actually the cage created by my own fears and mental blocks. I killed all my chances to escape the cage by the I possibly can’t attitude. I have let most opportunities pass by thinking “This isn’t possible for me”. Mostly I am shy to go somewhere or  do something alone, all by myself, thinking “What will others think”. But no more!

Even till yesterday I used to be shy of writing blog posts in front of somebody else for no concrete reason at all. But right now my dad is sitting beside me. He asked me what was i doing which I answered quite plainly (pretty big feat for me, ‘coz he intimidates me) Even while writing the last post I was thinking “Would my readers like this post”. This was the thought at back of my mind, but not today. Today I am writing this to keep reminding myself that there is a lot to be done. It takes just one thought  to overcome the fears I have. I am not afraid of anything anymore. From the next month I am gonna go to learn swimming alone. I don’t care if I have any friend to accompany me, I am tired of asking for company. I am gonna face the exams I have always dreaded. “If I shall succeed” will be answered when I get the results. But now I have just got to do, because “I can only if, and only when I want”. Everything else will take care of itself.

At the Door of this artificial world (courtesy :Taxidrivers.it)

for those who question my taste in movies..

Friends ask me a lot, why I don’t watch anything other than cartoons and animations, why so? Here is the answer for anybody who cares to read..

I seldom watch any movie other than those made for kids. But when I do, it leaves super-permanent impressions on me. The last one I saw was Autograph and today it was Katakuti. In this movie, I found myself in Rony, an out of place character in this sickly twisted world, where nothing is straight. Being true to the saying “movies are the mirrors of our society”, these movies lay bare the darkest realities of life, and reality is damned confusing..

The more I see these movies the more I am reminded of a line I had read in some Bengali prose. A lady said, ভাষার সৃষ্টি হয়েছে মানুশের মনকে ঢাকা দিতে, Language was created to mask the mind. Truly enough, the more you mask your mind the better a person you are. Being transparent, I am the odd-one-out in this race.

The more I see these movies the more it seems, love is nothing but a device used to get something. Romantic partners love each other just to have a support on as-needed basis and satisfy their own false ego. They don’t love the person, they love to have somebody who is at the beck and call. I don’t know to what extent this is true, but this is my own perception.

The more I see these movies, I become more and more of a pessimist and skeptic. I find it hard to believe others. I find it hard to trust others. I am not that intelligent that I can perceive deception before being fooled.

Lastly what bothers me most is that, I feel the things shown may happen to me. I have already seen a few in my real life, and I have just heard about some others. Then the thought surfaces, it happens to some of my dear ones, then what shall I do? The mere thought chills my blood and Reality really hurts... Being bitten by a snake thrice doesn’t accustom you to the pain. It hurts like it did the first time, just the scream “MOMMYY!!!!!!” turns into a little “Ahh..”. Similarly, watching movie characters in pain doesn’t lessen the pain of watching them unfold in real life.

Animated movies are designed with kids in mind. They amuse us, take our mind off reality bites, and give us a break..  So why bother about extra pain when I can avoid it altogether. Better to laugh all the way to the grave because no one knows when and where the path ends. 🙂

Your thoughts please!