Undecided about taking the leap..

It has been my dream to be able to play a musical instrument since long..  This dream was half inspired my subtle show-off nature and the rest was my inborn knack. My mother says my sense of music and rhythm was pretty strong for a kid who had just learnt to walk. She talks of a particular incident often. She says, once I had gone to a theater with my mother. Most probably a folk play was being staged. I was sitting in her lap watching all and understanding nothing 😉 . There was a song and that turned me on. She says I danced so well to the rhythm of the Tabla that surrounding people were awestruck watching me. That playful happy carefree child is still there yet not visible to anybody. Age-derived maturity has pulled a lot of wraps over him. He is locked behind the bars of my ego and shyness. Does this bother him? Not at all. He is still there dancing and tapping his fingers whenever there is music around. He tries to coax me into joining him, but I can’t. Sadly, I am not one of those handsome guys who look smart no matter what. I am a inside-and-out stupid guy, who loves making others laugh with his stupidity..  True, I can’t dance in public. But nobody can stop me from strumming the strings of an imaginary guitar or drumming away at a tabla or tapping on a table top..

Sorry for diverting off the point. The point is I am finally getting a chance to realize this dream of mine. Most probably tomorrow, I am going to buy a guitar and start taking guitar classes within a week, this has been planned. So near to my destiny, yet something is bothering me. A lingering doubt.. Those who know me in real life have been pestered by my dialogue “I am gonna learn the guitar”, yet I was least sure about it. Now that I have fallen for my own con, I really don’t know if I would love the guitar. I never have handled one. I have just seen my friends strum away at those strings. So, my love for the guitar is mostly due to the glamor associated and its sound. You know, some of my favorite songs are those on a slow guitar ex. “Whiskey lullaby” by Brad Paisley.

I guess I don’t have another choice. I have to stick to this or be branded indecisive and fickle-minded. I am not saying that I will hate it for sure. There is a good probability that I will like it!

This is gonna be an unplanned adventure.  I hope the guitar will be able to interest me.. I will be updating about that for sure. 🙂 Any suggestion? Tips?

The most prominent scar, college life left on me..

These last 4 years left some permanent marks on me. Some emotional burns, cuts, bruises, and wounds left their permanent scars, which have shaped me into my present self.  The most prominent one which  actually made me write this post is that, I am a lot cooler than I used to be. I don’t mean handsome kind of cool, but cooler by state of mind. I shall explain with an example. Read on..

Just take the situation yesterday. I and Avinandan had gone to Kolkata for an informal job interview (we had a reference). By the time we were done with the interview and lunch, it was quite late. We were gonna miss the last buses back home. We hurried to Karunamayee. Bad luck, we didn’t get a ticket for the last bus which was leaving right then. Given the time available we couldn’t have opted for the train. So, we thought of going to Esplanade, hoping to get a ticket on another bus to Durgapur. We had no idea if we had already missed the last bus but we were hoping to be there in time. Owing to traffic jam on the way, our bus took around 1 hour for a route of 30 minutes. Luckily, we were there in time. Buying the tickets, we took our places on the bus, informed the ones concerned and everybody heaved a sigh of relief.. Avinandan asked me if I was tensed about missing the last bus and being stranded in Kolkata for a whole night. I said “Nope, I am much cooler now, thanks to you and my college mates…”.It made me reflect on what would have happened if my 18 year self had been through this.

First of all, hearing he had already missed the last bus at Karunamayee, he would have been half blinded by fear. He would have felt hugely nauseated and a migraine would have set in for sure. Each and every second on the bus to Esplanade would have been a huge torture for him. He might have cried out or fainted in the heat of summer. In the mean time he might have lost his mobile phone, bumped into a dozen people already destroying his specs and so on.. Cumulative anger and frustration would have made him half dead by the time he would have reached Esplanade.

Amongst all the different character traits that I have gained through my 4 years of college, this one is the most prominent. Knowing, believing and feeling are 3 different things.. There was a time when everybody used to say to me “don’t panic, everything will be alright”. Slowly I began to believe, but I never got the hang of “everything will be alright”, because I never saw beyond my immediate neighborhood. College life forced me to take a broader perspective and that changed me for good! Now I feel “whatever happens is always the best that can happen, my duty is just to hang on tight and enjoy the ride”. Whatever situation I might face, ultimately I am going to be alive, which implies either I will be successful or I will be defeated and embarrassed. In case none of these happen, it will be much simpler! I would be dead and be spared the trouble of facing others with the embarrassed look!

Thank you my friends! Thanx a lot..

SantuOnline is 2 years old!

“YEAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  SantuOnline is 2 years old!”. This was my first thought right after getting up this morning! I am sooo happy, seems like it is my own birthday! I still remember those days when I used to plead with my friends to visit my blog (I didn’t know how to get visits then). Most didn’t  care. Indrajit was the only one who used to comment on each of my posts and I had to be content with that.  It was only this January that I started blogging like I meant it and now have a handsome reader base! I am obliged. I guess I have improved a lot as a writer since I started.

Here are some old posts of mine. I know they aren’t as good as as my latest posts, still take a peek at them. Let it be your B’day gift to my blog! 😉

My very first post, Hello world! . Notice the way I have written? I didn’t know what to write and how to write then.

My first brush with wildlife photography, I clicked an awesome pic of a grasshopper at a distance of just 5cm!

CUTEsome THREEsome, I clicked a mommy dog and two puppies suckling! Cute indeed! U cant miss this one.

uffffffffff…….. chaap ketechhe   a post on an exam. I had been  in a pressure-cooker situation that day!

life at the end of two years in college  The title is explanatory enough. A sentimental one..

curious cutie Snap of a li’l cat, by my friend Tanushree.

HAD A GREAT FALL, I fell while climbing down a hill.

a Friendship day post! This is one of my personal favorites! I celebrated the afternoon of Friendship day, at a river side with my closest friends.

have free time, but I am trying to relax A miscellaneous post on a day I was bored of doing nothing 🙂

a Lovely Sunset.. Another one of my rarely awesome pics! Please, dont miss this. This is a pic of my hometown.

and lastly the series of 4 posts about  a job interview I had appeared for. My very 1st one away from home!

A JOB INTERVIEW, 3rd in my life,1st one away from home
A JOB INTERVIEW, 3rd in my life,1st one away from home -> The written test
A JOB INTERVIEW, 3rd in my life,1st one away from home -> Results are declared..
A JOB INTERVIEW, 3rd in my life,1st one away from home-> the journey ends..
 

a milestone on our way to the end..

Yesterday, it was the last lab exam of my B.Tech.. getting pretty nostalgic right now. But this attack isnt as emotional as I had expected..

The day started with much excitement. Remember that song I was talking about in “Finally it happened“. We were planning to do a video recording of the song and dedicate it to all of us friends. Anyway, it was a typical Indian summer day. News forecast had warned that it was going to be 45 °C around noon, and it was hot indeed. Anyway, after the exams I took the bus to my friend, Sudipta’s mess.

Sudipta, posing with the guitar

Getting down at the bus stoppage I thought, I might have a bottle of Amul Kool, (saffron flavored milk). I bought one. No sooner had I put it to my lips, than I noticed two hooded guys approaching me. I was puzzled for a second at least, but their style of walking gave away. At once I recognised them; one was Suvayan (our lead singer)

Suvayan, our lead vocalist

and the other Avinandan (our only musician).

Avinandan, our only musician

Thankfully, they had come to pick me up. I was on the pillion when I heard the shopkeeper caliing me back. He had forgotten that I had already paid and was asking for it again. Damn! I never cheat on anybody, and how dare did he accuse me? Somehow, I managed to convince him of the truth and stomped off.. I left my bottle of Amul Kool there, it still had a some left in it..

With the usual welcome, I saw Suvajit was setting the plates and dishes for a treat of chicken Biriyani.

Suvajit, serving the BIRIYANI

It didn’t take much time to finish off the Biriyani, washed down with a few gulps of Thums-up. Then started the rehearsals for the song.

initial tuning..
Suvajit, posing with the guitar

Avinandan would think up and play some tunes and we would try to match it to the lyrics. It went on for around 20 mins. Finally we come to a decision on the song opening tunes. Then the rest went like a breeze. The different stanzas were being sung along with with the guitar.  The song video was being shot in pieces. Since this was our first chorus with a guitar in company, little flaws came up now and then. Somewhere the lines were too long, somewhere too short. But it was funny posing as composers and music directors 😉 .

We didn’t know when time flew by, until we heard someone shouting outside. We had frozen in our places for a minute, till Sudipta came back. He explained that ourselves, composing songs and singing at the top of our lungs, had added to his neighbors’ misery on that hot afternoon. Our rehearsals came to an abrupt halt, but we were too charged up to stop the shooting midway.. Suvajit then decided that we better go to another place (his previous mess), and within 10 minutes we were there. The juniors living there were kind enough to let us go on with our shooting, even after the abrupt murder of their afternoon naps on such a hot day. We are grateful to them. Now, the final stanzas were shot. Still, we hadn’t shot the whole song in a single video. So, it we shot another two to three videos on the whole song. The last one was the best. I have put it on YouTube, click here.

My first Blogger award!

First time is always special. And when it is a long coveted award, it is time to go NUTS !!! The saints say, one must always be complacent in order to achieve true greatness. But as of now I can afford to be non-complacent, for some days at least! 😀

I have been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award, by Jenny’s Serendipity (http://jennysserendipity.wordpress.com/). Needless to say how much I love this!

Now, there are some rules that are to be followed when one gets nominated for this award. Here they are

* Thank the person who nominated you and link back to them in your post

* Share 7 things about yourself

* Nominate 15 or so bloggers you admire

* Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know

—————————————————–

7 things about me (other than that said on my ABOUT page)

1. My mother, my father and some very close friends, they are the only reason that I am what I am, today.

2. I have short term memory, but I remember long past events very well.

3. I am a die-hard cartoon and anime movie fan, and I hate sentimental love story movies.

4. Mostly lazy, but I prefer cycling (15 km to my college) to taking the bus.

5. I spend my free time observing and analyzing peoples’ behaviors.

6. I love songs which have meaningful lyrics, good music and touch my heart at the first hearing, no matter if it is Arabic or English or in any other language.

7. I love blogging (a new found love 😉 )

Here are my nominees for the One Lovely Blog Award:

  1. Indrakatha….written from the soul
  2. Namratakumari’s Blog
  3. THATLou
  4. My Love of Zoology
  5. My fancy world
  6. Camilla Carron, Writer
  7. My Year in Quotes
  8. drcristy
  9. Semi Coherent Ramblings and such…
  10. vighneshacharya
  11. merlinspielen
  12. The Middlest Sister
  13. Bird
  14. tenacioustraveller
  15. atranquilplace

I wish I could accommodate more bloggers.. Nyway, I gotta go. I have my exams tomorrow.

did I forget something.. Guess what?

Thank you Jenny! Thanx a lot! 😀

 

 

Finally, it happened!

Imagine, you are standing on a high cliff, cornered. You have got to jump, there is no other way. You have a parachute strapped on. There is a sudden urge to jump, yet the next moment you find yourself balancing on the edge.. This loop goes on until you suddenly find yourself weightless, flying, the ground accelerating towards you. Pulling on your parachute strings, you come to a safe landing. You cant help applauding yourself at the feat you have accomplished! You think, “That pumping adrenaline, it was more of fun than fear after all”

Something like that happened to me yesterday, twice. Don’t worry, I wasn’t on any high cliff. I was safe and sound on the surface of earth.

First one happened when my friend Suvayan asked me to sing a song, composed by some of my friends. Never before I have sung or danced or given any speech in public. Whenever I sing, I have my headphones on my ears to spare me hearing my own singing. But, Suvayan was adamant. He wont let me go without it, and I was sort of hanging on the edge, wanting to jump, yet not able to.. Sudipta, Arijit, Suvayan all sang the song. Somehow I could not. My voice was imprisoned in my throat for a couple of minutes and suddenly, it broke free! It was kinda muffled, and I was a bit quick to finish the song. Heart pounding against my ribs, I was complimented, which meant I had made a safe landing.. 😀 again I sang it for 7 or 8 times. By now, it was quite funny (more like adventure for me)! Every-time he would point out the little flaws and try to rectify those. I think I did quite well! Finally, I had heard myself singing in public, without the headphones 🙂 The bathroom singer has come out of the bathroom 😛

Guess which one is me..

Second one happened at my college. We had our college fest yesterday. Though the fest was going on for two days, we joined it on the last evening. There were two events scheduled, performances by Vineet and by Underground Authority. Man, Vineet has a marvelous voice. With him singing, everybody around was jumping and dancing in frenzy! I had to have my hanky tied across my face (not to inhale the sand clouds being kicked up). Initially, I was just standing, clapping in tune and singing with him. But, when he came up with his Himesh version of Jodha-Akbar title song, we were all into another world! Midway into the song I realized, I was dancing!! (another never-before for me 😀 ) And it went on till the end.. By the time Vineet signed off, I had a biting pain across my belly. But that could not stop me for long. Half an hour later, I was again dancing to the rocking tunes of Underground Authority..

Underground Authority
kicking up sand clouds!

The last fest of my college life, an evening I would not forget… Thank you all my juniors who have put up such a spectacular show on such shoestring budget. It was a fantabulous evening.. 😀 😀

Why I blog? A short account..

The question is quite old. It has been asked and answered by millions. Mostly the answers are quite same. But flavors are different. After all everyone is unique. Here is mine.. 🙂

I was an introvert. Most of  the time I used to swim in my own mind. I always felt like people were always out there to get me, humiliate me in public. I was a hell of shy kid. Apart from that I am very curious person. I like to to try out everything at least once.  So, when I heard about the bloggers meet in my college, I thought  of giving it a try. Watching my best friend Indrajit going around flaunting a new “BCET Bloggers” badge, I decided to have a blog of my own.

I first started one on blogger.com . It was a complete disaster. Then I came to WordPress. Another two disasters were born. I don’t even remember their names. Then came SantuOnline at last. It never had any visits or likes, because I didn’t know then about the resource called “tag“. It was September last year, that I discovered tags and my number of visits and likes grew. I got a handsome number of followers too. 🙂

I still didn’t know why I was into blogging? It was like beer. Bitter to taste, but drinking feels good. (just an example, I don’t drink 😉 ) At first, I used to search for different tags and related posts. I used to like all the pages I visited. I just knew the more I “like”-d the more visits I would get. It was a sort of race against time. I  didn’t have much time everyday, but tried to do as many as possible “likes”.

Slowly, I began to slow down. Strange to hear, but that is exactly how it happened. Now, I didn’t just visit at random, and put in likes. I took my time to read each blog I visited, put in some comments and thoughts. It became a healthy outlet for my mind. My perspective changed. I met many like minded people on wordpress. Swimming in my own  mind, I had accumulated tons of doubts and junk. They got cleaned. There is still a lot more to do, but it feels better now.

Needless to say, blogging has now become more than just an obsession. It is source of daily inspiration. I am not as shy as I used to be. I have opened up a lot. I am more confident. Now I don’t feel like people are always out there to humiliate me. Here, I can speak my mind without fear. I can ask any type of foolish question without being branded as immature. There are so many people here. One is bound to find at least another one just like self. It is so easy to relate on blogosphere.

Having found some exact matches of mine, I wonder “aren’t we all unique?!! then where did these people come from? ” 🙂

A day of protest at my college

I joined the protests on the 3rd day,  around 10 in the morning. The scene at the college gate was an unusual one. Students (around 600 by strength), all were squatting at the college gate. Heads were bobbing up and down throughout, all shouting slogans against the college management. It was the most unusual sight in my college. (I should mention, our college management is a Draconian one. Fully dictatorial. Nobody ever dared saying a word against. So, this was the most unusual sight.)

I went in, sat down with others. Initially I was silent. It took me sometime to warm up to the atmosphere of protest, then I joined the chorus. It was a hot day. So some students took initiative and arranged for water bottles.Some took rounds at leading the SLOGAN-eering. Pent up anger of years had got a vent. It was nothing like I had done before, and being a part of such a huge protest felt awesome! After what felt like 1/2 an hour, I took a look at my phone for the time. It was 1 pm! 3 hours had passed by without any notice! My stomach gave a slight growl of hunger, and within minutes I was on my way for lunch.

I returned around a hour later. This time, this following scene gave me goose bumps.

There was a whole police team armed with bamboo sticks and tear gas guns. My heart was racing fast, feet went cold, sweat drops were pricking me in the neck..Uff.. I could have fainted. Right then something brought me back to my senses. A group of girls were sitting right next to the policeman with the gun. If they could shout fearlessly, what was holding me back?? –I call this, “Inspiration, staring u in the face!“– I took my place on the ground and joined the chorus again. 1/2 an hour later, the policemen did retreat and left us even more confident, our voices grew even louder! In between, when we were tired of “Slogan”-ering, we had short chats about our 4 years of our college. There were short rounds of  narration, anecdotes, laughter and fun. But everytime anybody from the college management was visible, we started shouting again.

Around 7 PM we broke up the assembly. Telling each other to meet at the same place next morning, we came back to our rooms.

A tiring day it was. Lying in my bed, there was a feeling of accomplishment, inspiration and lots of fun. Most importantly, I was felt braver than ever. 🙂