for those who question my taste in movies..

Friends ask me a lot, why I don’t watch anything other than cartoons and animations, why so? Here is the answer for anybody who cares to read..

I seldom watch any movie other than those made for kids. But when I do, it leaves super-permanent impressions on me. The last one I saw was Autograph and today it was Katakuti. In this movie, I found myself in Rony, an out of place character in this sickly twisted world, where nothing is straight. Being true to the saying “movies are the mirrors of our society”, these movies lay bare the darkest realities of life, and reality is damned confusing..

The more I see these movies the more I am reminded of a line I had read in some Bengali prose. A lady said, ভাষার সৃষ্টি হয়েছে মানুশের মনকে ঢাকা দিতে, Language was created to mask the mind. Truly enough, the more you mask your mind the better a person you are. Being transparent, I am the odd-one-out in this race.

The more I see these movies the more it seems, love is nothing but a device used to get something. Romantic partners love each other just to have a support on as-needed basis and satisfy their own false ego. They don’t love the person, they love to have somebody who is at the beck and call. I don’t know to what extent this is true, but this is my own perception.

The more I see these movies, I become more and more of a pessimist and skeptic. I find it hard to believe others. I find it hard to trust others. I am not that intelligent that I can perceive deception before being fooled.

Lastly what bothers me most is that, I feel the things shown may happen to me. I have already seen a few in my real life, and I have just heard about some others. Then the thought surfaces, it happens to some of my dear ones, then what shall I do? The mere thought chills my blood and Reality really hurts... Being bitten by a snake thrice doesn’t accustom you to the pain. It hurts like it did the first time, just the scream “MOMMYY!!!!!!” turns into a little “Ahh..”. Similarly, watching movie characters in pain doesn’t lessen the pain of watching them unfold in real life.

Animated movies are designed with kids in mind. They amuse us, take our mind off reality bites, and give us a break..  So why bother about extra pain when I can avoid it altogether. Better to laugh all the way to the grave because no one knows when and where the path ends. 🙂

Your thoughts please!

The final day of college life!

My day started with the thought “What if I can’t write anything today in my exams, I don’t wanna fail in the last one…”. It was real scary.

By 10 I was at the exam hall. It was the usual scene; most were preparing cheat-papers and writing on benches with pencils etc. Few were talking about the extreme heat of the summer, laughing at some anecdotes and so on.  I was feeling as if I was in a slaughterhouse about to be killed. Cheating in exams that is something I had never done before. I didn’t expect that myself being able to do that without being caught. The question papers arrived 5 minutes earlier, it killed me on the first look just as I expected. There wasn’t a single question that I could have answered by myself, all were lengthy derivations and I hadn’t prepared them at all. Something else was playing at my fate today. Suddenly something like a heat wave rushed over me and I uttered “Hey Adra, Pass me the cheat”. I was surprised at my tone of voice. This was one of the strangest things I have ever done. Next 2 hours went like breeze! I deftly cheated throughout the paper. I completed the paper with 1 hour left. There was ample time left to throw away the cheats through the broken window behind me. Time became slow. I could not wait to submit my paper and break into the final celebration of my college life! After the exam I ran to the library to submit my last library book and it was done! I was free! We started writing on shirts in the library itself (on other days this would have earned us a good scolding, but not today). Friends and all, we had become a family. Today it was time to depart, time for the last get-together. It was time to get emotional, time to speak those unspoken words we had in our hearts for years. It was time to show off our pent-up sentiments and so on…. Here, u can see some pictures my friends taken by my friend Avinandan.

In front of our library

                  

Afterwards, we decided to spend the night at Sudipta’s mess and visit Sudipta’s hometown tomorrow. I had to do some packing and stuff, so I came back home. An hour later me  Avinandan and Arijit we  3 joined the 3 others, Suvajit, Suvayan and Sudipta (remember the making of the song “college er sei dingulo“?). For dinner we went to restaurant named “PANCH-PHORON” (it is a Bengali spice).Enjoyed a hefty dinner, but it was already past 10 so, we were gonna have to walk the distance back. Luckily enough we got the last bus on the route. It was already running late, so we were at Sudipta’s mess in no time. I got to mention, in my B.Tech life of 4 years, I haven’t ever seen these buses going so fast! Avinandan was adamant about taking a his first sip of beer. Sadly enough, there were many who had planned to take the first sip tonight! as a result we could not find any good one. At last we found a bottle of Haywards 5000, it wasn’t chilled though. Arijit had bought a cold 2l Sprite. We decided that it should be mixed with the beer to lower its temperature. Avinandan was the first to take a sip. But he could not drink much. The rest of the bottle was finished by Arijit and Sudipta. Then we decided for game of cards. I am lousy player, so I was taking a little rest and the others were playing. Around 2 am everybody got tired and we came out of the room into the open air.

Now it is 2 3o am. Tonight, sitting outside by the side of a well, with a few of my friends under the open sky, counting the stars and yawning, we are reflecting on our life for the last 4 years. It was 8th August 2008, that we started this journey, the journey of 4 years of B.Tech. Looking back there are a lot of sweet and sour memories but most have been victims of my short-term memory. So I am keeping quiet, laughing at their anecdotes. In the meantime we can hear funny noises from the girls mess just beside the place we were sitting and we are wondering aloud what they are up to.. I am terribly sleepy, but trying to keep myself awake.

This is our last night together, A memory we shall cherish forever!

A lovely dream that I don’t want to realize..

This one might look like an awards post, but it is not. It is just a bunch of thoughts concealing a childish wish.

Meeting new friends is always great! No, I am not talking about Facebook type of friends. We just have them on our friend lists, not in our hearts. Those I have in my heart are from my real life and from WordPress. It might seem a bit odd that I am equating worth of real life friends and those on WordPress as same, but actually there is nothing strange about it. Let me explain.  You see on FB, we like,comment, show off, feel jealous, congratulate and humiliate each other with status updates, photos and all that. But on WordPress, we just we just go on writing our own thoughts. People who resonate, follow on. Thus a good and healthy friendship is born. I am not undermining the worth of real life friends. I am just saying, my WordPress friends are almost as close to my heart, as my real life friends. Here’s a list of few of my favorite blogs. Read on to know why I like them..

Vighneshacharya is always ready with Speedy Sparks to preach and inspire. His inspirational posts have helped me a lot. Next my mind points to DrChristy from Nashville. Her posts about Jesus and the almighty, those are abrasive enough to rub the veils of materialism and ego off our eyes, yet soft enough to gently touch the heart and show us the right way. I have gained a lot of patience and peace reading them. Currently she is doing some posts on medicines and vaccines. Next I should mention THATlou, short for “Treasure hunt at the Louvre”. Her blog is always full of historical facts objects and artifacts. Even though I hated history, I love her posts.  At Atranquilplace, the photos and words take me to heaven the moment I read them. Awesome! At semi coherent ramblings and such, he just talks on and on and on and in the end, you realize it wasn’t him talking. It was you reading! I love going through his mind . At Angiestoeklinblog, she is a simple girl of tween, living in San Francisco. You have to read her blog to know why I like her. So is Lexical Tapestry, she mesmerizes all with her posts and poems. I should mention, the author of Indrakatha is my best friend. Now for poetry blogs, one is Madame’s Tea Party and the other is Camilla Carron. Madame’s Tea Party posts so many each day that I can’t catch up, and Camilla Carron, she can get you cracking with laughter with just a few lines. Enough with the list.. There are around 30 other bloggers whom I follow for some reason, but I don’t wanna make this post too long. Now, lets cut to the chase!

Just this morning I had an idea. Why not go on a world tour to meet these wonderful people in person? It isn’t that bad an idea and I spent my whole day dreaming of meeting them. I saw myself in San Francisco, looking at that huge red bridge. I found myself laughing at Camilla’s poems. I saw myself in Nashville listening to some spiritual talk by drchristy, and so on.. By evening reality dawned on me. It isn’t quite possible to realize that dream, not at least in my present situation. That made me sad. The chain of thoughts went on, till I settled on a nice climax. I am a human being right? I am bound to be judgmental. What if I don’t like something about them. Instead of being enchanted, I might get a bad taste in my mouth.  It might spoil their images in my heart and if that happens, then what is the point of realizing such a dream?…  I said to my mind, “No reality check please, I just wanna keep dreaming”. Dreaming and wishing that one day, I will be meeting these wonderful people. I want to preserve their images as it is, in my heart and keep resonating with their thoughts for ever.. 🙂

Why I blog? A short account..

The question is quite old. It has been asked and answered by millions. Mostly the answers are quite same. But flavors are different. After all everyone is unique. Here is mine.. 🙂

I was an introvert. Most of  the time I used to swim in my own mind. I always felt like people were always out there to get me, humiliate me in public. I was a hell of shy kid. Apart from that I am very curious person. I like to to try out everything at least once.  So, when I heard about the bloggers meet in my college, I thought  of giving it a try. Watching my best friend Indrajit going around flaunting a new “BCET Bloggers” badge, I decided to have a blog of my own.

I first started one on blogger.com . It was a complete disaster. Then I came to WordPress. Another two disasters were born. I don’t even remember their names. Then came SantuOnline at last. It never had any visits or likes, because I didn’t know then about the resource called “tag“. It was September last year, that I discovered tags and my number of visits and likes grew. I got a handsome number of followers too. 🙂

I still didn’t know why I was into blogging? It was like beer. Bitter to taste, but drinking feels good. (just an example, I don’t drink 😉 ) At first, I used to search for different tags and related posts. I used to like all the pages I visited. I just knew the more I “like”-d the more visits I would get. It was a sort of race against time. I  didn’t have much time everyday, but tried to do as many as possible “likes”.

Slowly, I began to slow down. Strange to hear, but that is exactly how it happened. Now, I didn’t just visit at random, and put in likes. I took my time to read each blog I visited, put in some comments and thoughts. It became a healthy outlet for my mind. My perspective changed. I met many like minded people on wordpress. Swimming in my own  mind, I had accumulated tons of doubts and junk. They got cleaned. There is still a lot more to do, but it feels better now.

Needless to say, blogging has now become more than just an obsession. It is source of daily inspiration. I am not as shy as I used to be. I have opened up a lot. I am more confident. Now I don’t feel like people are always out there to humiliate me. Here, I can speak my mind without fear. I can ask any type of foolish question without being branded as immature. There are so many people here. One is bound to find at least another one just like self. It is so easy to relate on blogosphere.

Having found some exact matches of mine, I wonder “aren’t we all unique?!! then where did these people come from? ” 🙂

When u wake up to hear someone crying..

When you wake up hearing someone crying, you know something very bad has happened..  After sometime, when the bad news dawns on you. A strange feeling of helplessness chills you down from head to toe.

My pet dog “putputu” passed away last night. She was just over 2 years. For last 2 days she was just lying lazily. She did not eat anything.

Today around 5 morning, I heard my mother crying. It took me some time to realize the reason… she asked me to take a last look of my putputu. I couldn’t.. I didn’t.

Had I seen those lifeless eyes, it might have tarnished my memories of her. Instead I chose to keep her alive in my mind. I will always remember her beautiful eyes, silky black coat… and last but not the least, her whining.. Please pray, may god bless her soul..

thy name is "PUTPUTU"

A day of protest at my college

I joined the protests on the 3rd day,  around 10 in the morning. The scene at the college gate was an unusual one. Students (around 600 by strength), all were squatting at the college gate. Heads were bobbing up and down throughout, all shouting slogans against the college management. It was the most unusual sight in my college. (I should mention, our college management is a Draconian one. Fully dictatorial. Nobody ever dared saying a word against. So, this was the most unusual sight.)

I went in, sat down with others. Initially I was silent. It took me sometime to warm up to the atmosphere of protest, then I joined the chorus. It was a hot day. So some students took initiative and arranged for water bottles.Some took rounds at leading the SLOGAN-eering. Pent up anger of years had got a vent. It was nothing like I had done before, and being a part of such a huge protest felt awesome! After what felt like 1/2 an hour, I took a look at my phone for the time. It was 1 pm! 3 hours had passed by without any notice! My stomach gave a slight growl of hunger, and within minutes I was on my way for lunch.

I returned around a hour later. This time, this following scene gave me goose bumps.

There was a whole police team armed with bamboo sticks and tear gas guns. My heart was racing fast, feet went cold, sweat drops were pricking me in the neck..Uff.. I could have fainted. Right then something brought me back to my senses. A group of girls were sitting right next to the policeman with the gun. If they could shout fearlessly, what was holding me back?? –I call this, “Inspiration, staring u in the face!“– I took my place on the ground and joined the chorus again. 1/2 an hour later, the policemen did retreat and left us even more confident, our voices grew even louder! In between, when we were tired of “Slogan”-ering, we had short chats about our 4 years of our college. There were short rounds of  narration, anecdotes, laughter and fun. But everytime anybody from the college management was visible, we started shouting again.

Around 7 PM we broke up the assembly. Telling each other to meet at the same place next morning, we came back to our rooms.

A tiring day it was. Lying in my bed, there was a feeling of accomplishment, inspiration and lots of fun. Most importantly, I was felt braver than ever. 🙂

THE LAST POST OF 2011 A.D.

Tonight is the last night of 2011 A.D. This is my last post of this year. I don’t have any special plan to celebrate the year end, so I am gonna enter the new year sleeping…

A little while ago, me and my friend Saikat (I hope u remember him from the previous posts) were chatting, mostly about the fun time we had at Kolkata.Yet, we were both feeling a little depressed coz, we haven’t been able to bag a job in campusing.Right then, I had a light bulb moment!!!

I told him          “Janis, chakri paini bhalo hoeche, age peye gele eto enjoy korte partam na

He agreed readily “Ha re…seriously.. amar to kono kichui mone hochhe na….
bhaad mein jae chakri, life 1tai enjoy korechi..etatei satisfied

What else? This one thought is enough to ban all the sadness and depression!!

as I have said in my last post, this year has been full of bad experiences for me,

still it has come to a ROCKKING END!! As we bongs say “chorom hoeche kintu, awesome sala!”

A JOB INTERVIEW, 3rd in my life,1st one away from home -> Results are declared..

Today is my birthday! Thats why last  night my two partners, karthik and saaki gave me the B’DAY BASH!

We were supposed to get the results around 9pm last night. Yet, 8 am in the morning, and we were still waiting. Every now and then we were checking our mails, doing FB. My FB wall was overflowing with Happy Bday wishes..U know, in my life of 21 years I had never got so many BDAY Wishes in one day. Waiting for the mail, we were getting hungry..Then we went out for breakfast.

O! That reminds me of something. Last night we had seen a extremely lean dog, with a narrow face. It looked just like “KREACHER”, the elf of HARRY POTTER movies. So whenever we see any dog, Karthik says “Kreacher!!” and we have a nice laugh.. Today we were late for breakfast, so the “kochuri”s were finished. We had “paratha” and “Ghugni”. Then we returned back to our rooms and a surprise was waiting..

Guess what?? Our results had been declared! Karthik had cleared the test, me and Saaki didn’t. So after a short round of applause and facebook updates, we 2 settled down to watch “HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON”, an animation movie. I was also planning to visit my friends staying in HOWRAH, but there wasn’t sufficient time left, to go there and return. Karthik was supposed to report for his interview around 3 30 at the WBUT, salt lake today. There wasn’t much time left for him. So he went out,  took a chair and sat on the porch. He was revising all the topics and we were enjoying our free time. There is some benefit to failing after all..

Wishing karthik best of luck, we all went out. He took a taxi, and we went to a hotel for lunch. The manager was very talkative, he would go on speaking to u and u wud have to listen even if u don’t like that. Had a solid lunch. After that, I thought since we don’t have anything o do, lets go for a walk. So we went off roaming towards Alipore More. Saw a large number of high rise buildings, there was a whole high rise building labelled “GOLD’S gym”. We learnt a lot about bus numbers and bus routes. We walked for around a hour and returned back. On the way we had a chat about our favourite heroes and films. He told me to watch “shutter island”, featuring Leonardo Di Caprio whenever I get time. Having nothing to do, I went to sleep, Saaki was watching “the mummy” on my lappy. I woke up in the evening. Afterwards I went out to buy 2 eggrolls. Bad luck, then another idea struck. I went to a sweet shop, ordered for  3 “rasogollas”. Just like I guessed, the rasogollas were fresh and warm! They just melted in my mouth. I ordered another three for saaki. He too had a pleasant surprise!! And just as he was finishing them, karthik came in. His interview has been postponed to tomorrow 9 30 am. Again a little bit of Facebook-ing, teasing etc. Then we had dinner and came back to our rooms. Karthik seems quite tense. He is shuffling through the books and topics. And I am going off to sleep. Tomorrow, we shall return to Durgapur..

A JOB INTERVIEW, 3rd in my life,1st one away from home

The story starts on a Wednesday, when we got mails for the off campus recruitment. Next day i was off to my college for more info. Took a look at the eligible list sent to us. My friend KRTHIK (keto) and SAIKAT (saaki) were on the list. We live in Durgapur Steel Township near to each other. So we decided that we shall go together. But the very next day KETO had done a big blunder at home (what we Bongs say, “CASE KHEYECHE!!”). I m not going to divulge all the “CASE” details, but we couldn’t book our place of  DSP guest house till Saturday 12 pm. then we had a hell of a time trying to get 3 bus tickets to Kolkata. The ticket counters weren’t functioning normal. at places the agents were not at their shops. By the time i got an agent who could give me he tickets, he said the main counter had been closed. To compound our problems, the UREKA bus transport service had been discontinued. at last on Monday I managed to get 3 tickets on the bus to Karunamayee, that too after waiting 2 hours at the ticket counter in biting morning cold.

Then I informed my 2 partners, and went home to get ready for the journey. i have a short-term memory, so I forget most important things with the utmost ease (I do get a lot of scolding for that). Anyway, I had my things packed, got a bath. All the time I was trying to remember if i had missed anything. Took a bus around 1 pm, the bus was to depart around 2:15. Went to city centre, after waiting for a short period of time, i found karthik with his “special somebody” at a sweet shop. RIGHT then he remembered that he hadnt brought his formal shoes. Leaving me with his luggage, he went back home to get his formal shoes. i was waiting alone, till CHANGA (aniruddha) turned up. He was boarding the Esplanade bus of 2 PM. right after he disappeared, Saaki appeared on the scene. He was carrying just a long blue travel bag. We had a short chat, and then Keto came back. He reminded me that I had forgotten my phone charger. Now, I was growing nervous and trying to remember what else??? By 2 13 we had boarded the bus, Keto and Saaki had given me the window seat, thanks to them.

Now, we were on bus chatting and taunting each other. All of a sudden karthik remembered that he had forgotten his papers for the Guest house. Without them he would not be allowed to stay there. We saw him perspiring in the cold. He tried calling the office phone numbers with no avail. At last, his mom went to their office and cleared the matter. It was around 6 30, we reached Karunamayee. we 3 boarded an auto-rikshaw to College More. There we had an endless wait for the bus to take us to Chetla. It seemed like all the buses were showing up except the one we needed. at last we saw a Chetla bus. Boarded it, but had to get down after a few minutes. The conductor wouldn’t allow us with all our lauggage. alas, we were again walking back to College More. By luck, we saw a empty taxi. the driver didnt know the exact place we were supposed to go, but he seemed to be confident enough to take us there. Then, after another long journey we did manage to reach Chetla guest house. We filled in the rooms. Keto was in one, me and Saaki in another. We had roti tadka for dinner. i am going to sleep, in my room, karthik and saaki are practicing apti for wipro..

Tomorrow is a big day

a Friendship day post!

4th year… sometimes, it becomes hard to believe that just after 10 months life would change forever. I wont be attending
the so-called “boring” classes anymore. No more bickering about participating in MASS BUNKS! 😉 there wont be any more leg pulling, no waiting to see those same faces everyday; and being surprised like never seen them before..
Memories come flooding by like the Brahmaputra in a rainy season. I can still remember the first day of my college life. Frightened…and verrry quiet out of fear of seniors and new people alike. I didn’t even dream then that, one day the people around me, would become the inseparable parts of my life.. I never had any best friend ever in school life, then I had nobody to confide in etc etc.. leave it for now, lets concentrate on my college life. 1st year was more or less okkayy. neither too good neither bad. I didn’t know how to talk then, so didn’t have many friends. But in second year, I got to know somebody, who is now one of my 3 best friends! He introduced me to a great deal of people, friends, enemies alike. For the first time I felt like having a real friends.. other than them there are other friends, they are really good. not mentioning them would be an insult. Anyway, I miss them very much during holidays, and watching them each time, gives me, a rare feeling of happiness!!
I love them all dearly.. that is what has inspired me to write this post on FRIENDSHIP DAY..

today I celebrated FRIENDSHIP day with my 3 best friends, at Durgapur Barrage. had a very nice time there.. first outing with my friends so far away from home..

Anyway, lets stop typing.. making this post too long would make it boring.. I shall post today’s experiences in another post..

goodnite everybody!

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY TO ALL OF YOU…FRIENDS ARE PRECIOUS, DON’T DARE LOSE THEM

pre-dinner post

I have just finished watching AUTOGRAPH, on my lappy. The copy I have is a prerelease copy of the film. The film is a superb masterpiece and the songs are a real compliment to the whole story. Although I personally feel that, the song ”fande poriya bagha kande re” could have been better, if the original score sung by  Abbasuddin Ahmed had been incorporated instead of the remix. the viewer gets lost into the plot of the film very easily. From the first moment till the point of “arun chatterjee” , the flashback scenes and the different shots of “aajker nayok” have been so beautifully interlaced that they feed the viewers suspense for the heart wrenching climax. The climax where “subho” reveals on the boat that the confession tape has been taken away long before, makes us wonder that somebody can be such a psychic cynical just for….

It is a must watch for all adults and adolescents, mind it! I didn’t mention children. I can guarantee that everyone will be able to relate to the film in at least one scene, unless somebody isn’t social at all

the last post of 2010 AD

So, tonight is the last night of 2010 A.D.  About 2 hrs to midnight and New Year!

As far as I remember this has been the most eventful year of my life. I got loads and loads of goodies without even asking for. Many, many, many thanks to god for making me so lucky. Readers might want to know what those are, but I would like to keep all of them (but one) a secret

That is, I found a very special friend. I fondly call her “sister”, and she calls me “bhaiya”.

I will surely remember this year all my life as a big turning point of my life. Well, New Year is still some time left and I am sure to enter New Year 2011 sleeping. As ever I haven’t made any New Year resolutions, but I have my priorities and targets set. This year I am sure to go through being a bit more composed and matured than before.  2010 has taught me a lot of things and I am sure to put them to use in the New Year 2011

Happy New Year 2011 to all of us!!!

Wishing u all a very prosperous new year

may this be more eventful, than ever!!!

curious cutie

This pic was taken by my friend TANUSHREE BANNERJE , tanu in short. This little piece of curious cutie isn’t exactly her pet, but roams around her house.

At first glance I had gushed “beautiful shot!!”, some of my friends exclaimed “chhoo chhweet!” and so on

do tell what u people feel like saying, on watching this shot. your compliments will encourage a budding photographer………

!untitled!

It has been a long, long time since I posted something. when situation permitted, my mind didn’t, when my mind gave permission, something else dropped in, thus I became distant..
now lets catch up with d last post. 3rd year has begun and I am already 1/4 th on my way to 4th year. in between i did training at Bangalore iti, a nice place u know. for the first time in my life i had been away from home for 21 days. for the first time i experienced what it is like to be at a hostel, between friends, getting ur legs pulled (sometimes pants were also tugged at), fighting over bathroom and latrine during nature calls, sharing n caring and much more…
what I learnt there in 21 days it was an experience of a lifetime. in other words u can say a kid became a man in 21 days.

life at the end of two years in college………..

Finally exams r over. 2 eventful years of a four year journey comes to an end.

Looking back, it seems like day before yesterday I was in 1st year. I can exactly remember those “blue terror” days (we first-years used to run away from seniors dressed in their “BLUE” uniform),the unnoticed way of making new friends, making silly mistakes like ever before and learning how to laugh at myself, teasing friends and enemies, watching hearts join and break all around me…. and the biggest part of it…that is enjoying all of this. Fast life of college had made cobwebs arond me. I never had the time to look back.

But today without anything to do (till going to bangalore for training), I decided to venture into dark corridors of my mind with a flashlight.

It seems impossible to see anything beyond those cobwebs. But it has got its own worth.

For the  first time in these two years i am feeling emotional like never before. Almost want to cry out my hearts content.Now that we r called grown ups. Our well developed EGO wont let us cry in public….

thanks reader, u have allowed me enough…..